Modern relationships have modern problems. Over the years, relationships and marriages have only become more complex. So much so that many marriages these days are unable to survive the test of time and end up in divorce. On the other hand, we also see couples who stick through thick and thin and are able to have long and happy marriages. This makes one wonder what makes some marriages successful while others are unable to cope with the ups and downs of life?
Thinking along these lines, we asked psychologist Fatima Alam about some common patterns she often notices in couples who stay together versus those who separate. Talking about it, she told us, “Most long-lasting partnerships are characterised by open communication, mutual respect, emotional support, and even constructive conflict resolution. Instead of running away from the situation, such long-term couples regard each struggle as an opportunity to grow together in the long run.”
Speaking on the red flags that indicate people are heading towards separation, she further shared four repeated patterns that are often seen in such couples. “Couples who are on their road to divorce frequently exhibit repeating patterns which may include unresolved grudges, emotional shutdown, a lack of appreciation, and an inability to meet each other’s emotional needs. Criticism, scorn, defensiveness, and stonewalling are some examples of such indicators,” she shared.
But, just like any other relationships, such connections, too, can be improved with open and honest communication. Emphasising this, psychologist Fatima Alam added, “Honest communication is the key to turning these relationships around.”
So, what are some daily habits that strengthen a marriage over time? Answering this, she told us, “To strengthen a marriage over time, simple but constant efforts are more important than grand gestures. To build a firm foundation, prioritise appreciation, active listening, and making time for each other even with busy schedules. Focus and learn about your partner’s love language. Frequent check-ins, thoughtfulness, and simple acts of kindness foster emotional connection. Empathy-based conflict resolution, rather than blame, prevents long-term issues. Prioritising quality time together, whether through shared meals, hobbies, or even healthy debates, is crucial for maintaining closeness and connection.”
After all, “a healthy relationship involves tackling obstacles together, rather than avoiding them,” she added.
Do you agree with this? Tell us in the comments section below.