Dr. Jacqueline Olds and Dr. Richard Schwartz told CNBC, “One thing we hear a lot from clients is, ‘You treat everyone else better than you treat me!’ And often, their partner responds with something like, ‘I’m just being my real self. Real love means not having to pretend.'”
They further shared that this kind of tension usually pops up when people start taking each other for granted. Out in the world, they’re polite and considerate with friends, coworkers, even strangers. But at home, that same effort and kindness disappear.
Here’s the truth: using “authenticity” as an excuse to stop being kind and thoughtful doesn’t make a relationship more real—it just makes it more hurtful. Being your true self shouldn’t mean being careless with the person you love most.
